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@ -4,25 +4,24 @@ date: 2025-07-20
You will never be a platform engineer. You have no tooling, no namespacing, no
developer agency. You are a sysadmin twisted by buzzwords and job titles into a
crude mockery of
[BOFH's](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastard_Operator_From_Hell) perfection.
All the "validation" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back
developers mock you. Your boss is disgusted and ashamed of you, your "cloud
support agent" laughs at your ghoulish infrastructure behind closed doors.
Developers are utterly repulsed by you. Decades of tooling advancements have
allowed developers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even "DevOps
Engineers" who "pass" look uncanny and unnatural to a developer. Your decrepit
Git repos are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to convince a developer to
follow your processes, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of
your diseased, infected Terraform modules. You will never be happy. You wrench
out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's gonna be ok, but
deep inside you feel the AWS costs creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you
under the unbearable weight. Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll turn
in your 2 weeks' notice, cry in the bathroom, `terraform apply` to production,
and plunge into the cold abyss. Developers will find you, heartbroken but
relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable processes and
procedures. They'll fire you with cause under 'incompetence', and every
recruiter for the rest of eternity will know you're a shitty sysadmin. Your body
will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is
an archived repo that has your full name attached to it. This is your fate. This
is what you chose. There is no turning back.
crude mockery of [BOFH's](https://bofh.bjash.com/) perfection. All the
"validation" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back developers
mock you. Your boss is disgusted and ashamed of you, your "cloud support agent"
laughs at your ghoulish infrastructure behind closed doors. Developers are
utterly repulsed by you. Decades of tooling advancements have allowed developers
to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even "DevOps Engineers" who
"pass" look uncanny and unnatural to a developer. Your decrepit Git repos are a
dead giveaway. And even if you manage to convince a developer to follow your
processes, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased,
infected Terraform modules. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile
every single morning and tell yourself it's gonna be ok, but deep inside you
feel the AWS costs creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the
unbearable weight. Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll turn in your 2
weeks' notice, cry in the bathroom, `terraform apply` to production, and plunge
into the cold abyss. Developers will find you, heartbroken but relieved that
they no longer have to live with the unbearable processes and procedures.
They'll fire you with cause under 'incompetence', and every recruiter for the
rest of eternity will know you're a shitty sysadmin. Your body will decay and go
back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is an archived repo
that has your full name attached to it. This is your fate. This is what you
chose. There is no turning back.