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site/dump/posix/sysadmin-copypasta.md

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+---
+date: 2025-07-20
+---
+
+You will never be a platform engineer. You have no tooling, no namespacing, no
+developer agency. You are a sysadmin twisted by buzzwords and job titles into a
+crude mockery of BOFH's perfection. All the "validation" you get is two-faced
+and half-hearted. Behind your back developers mock you. Your boss is disgusted
+and ashamed of you, your "cloud support agent" laughs at your ghoulish
+infrastructure behind closed doors. Developers are utterly repulsed by you.
+Decades of tooling advancements have allowed developers to sniff out frauds with
+incredible efficiency. Even "DevOps Engineers" who "pass" look uncanny and
+unnatural to a developer. Your decrepit Git repos are a dead giveaway. And even
+if you manage to convince a developer to follow your processes, he'll turn tail
+and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected Terraform
+modules. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single
+morning and tell yourself it's gonna be ok, but deep inside you feel the AWS
+costs creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
+Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll turn in your 2 weeks' notice, cry
+in the bathroom, `terraform apply` to production, and plunge into the cold
+abyss. Developers will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer
+have to live with the unbearable processes and procedures. They'll fire you with
+cause under 'incompetence', and every recruiter for the rest of eternity will
+know you're a shitty sysadmin. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and
+all that will remain of your legacy is an archived repo that has your full name
+attached to it. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning
+back.